


Widow

by Aircxtchers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon, Gen, Red Room (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-16 00:46:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18510496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aircxtchers/pseuds/Aircxtchers
Summary: Natasha Romanoff was no stranger to hardships and pain, and that's no secret. From day one in the Red Room, it was clear she had potential. Even with that, she wanted out. Black Widow may have been a title she earned by being a ruthless assassin-- but in reality, she was just a girl who had suffered the worst of the worst. Before she was a killer, she was Natalia Romanova, a young child who wanted nothing more then to help others. Although, The Red Room was determined to change her.





	1. Chapter 1- Bloodshed

The Red Room was a place of murder. The KGB benefited from pain, so why would they care where it was coming from? They were getting their perfect soldiers, so why would they think of others? "Romanova!" A woman called, her thick Russian accent shining through his words. She glared upon a line of girls. Some still hadn't realized showing emotions was dangerous.  
A red-head looked at the woman, a neutral expression playing on her face. "Yes?" She replied. A blonde fidgeted nervously next to her, seeming to know what's next. The red-head didn't react, her green eyes staring intensely at the woman that seemed to want her dead.  
"Take the gun, Natalia." She commanded, taking out a firearm and setting it on the wooden table in front of them. The room almost seemed like a dining room, but there were no chairs, or pictures. Just empty walls and empty tables. Natalia hesitated. The woman came over, before roughly grabbing her shoulder. "Did you just pause?"  
"No, sir." The girl’s expression was back to a being emotionless. One of the first things you learn here is that emotions just get you hurt. She knew if you didn't remember that, you would die. She quickly took the weapon in front of her, before moving her small arms to her side. His arm still resided on her bony shoulder, a firm grip still happening. It almost hurt. Almost.  
"You know what happens when we pause, мало один." She knew exactly what happened. Either she died or someone else did. Still, she stood up straight, trying to be fearless. Rule number two of the Red Room: fear gets you killed. Fear is something she could not afford to indulge in. "Shoot her." She added, pointing to the small blonde girl next to her.  
Natalia didn't hesitate. She put the gun to the other girl's head- before she fired. Blood poured out, as the body dropped to the floor. She didn't even know the blondes name. She should have regretted it. She should have felt bad for taking an innocent life. She didn't though. The Black Widow didn't weep.  
"Very good!" The woman cried out, releasing her shoulder finally. Other girls just looked on horrified. Blood stained Natalia's pale face, along with the floor. "Assassins should not be afraid to kill." She lectured, looking at the other children. They all just nodded, too afraid to say anything. Rule number three of the Red Room: do as you're told, or you die. It was a simple rule, but probably the most important one. Disobedience couldn't be tolerated within the program, there were no exceptions. They wanted soldiers, not for their students to be morally correct  
Natalia didn't say anything, just stared back blankly, her whole body still in that moment. Her curly red hair had been stained with blood, so it stuck to her face, making her look like the deadly asset she was supposed to be. She may have been small, and bony, but she was the deadliest weapon in the room.  
She was the prodigy. Yet, everything she did was for survival, not out of ambition. Somehow, survival meant killing. To live for her was to take another's life away. There was no happy median, and that's why very few survived the training program.  
She was not a little girl: she was a machine, and a deadly one at that. She followed orders, kept a straight face, and didn't hesitate. She was an assassin, not her own person. The moment she learned that was the moment that made her almost indispensable. She wasn't allowed to have her own opinion, or she died. She couldn't have her own freedom, or she died. She couldn't be her own person-- because she would die. The Red Room was a prison, and the girls had not done anything wrong.  
Natalia knew only the strong survived. She was determined not to die, so that meant she had to be strong. So, she listened. As the man led them into another room, she wiped her face, which just streaked the blood. Still, she followed her instructor without cleaning off. That would need to wait.  
Their instructor led them into a soundproof room, with metal lining the walls. Targets resided at the end of the range, some just simple papers, some shaped like actual people. They once had actual people. Natalia could remember the screaming woman that was forced to stand at the other end of a girl’s gun. None of them knew her name-- just what the sound of her screaming was like. That very thought pounded in Natalia's head, which only worsened her nauseous feeling.  
"We sadly do not have any living targets today," The woman said. Not one person was disappointed. They were all relieved if anything. No one in their right state of mind would want to shoot humans. That is something Natalie did out of necessity not desire.  
The only thing going through her mind was fear, and she hated herself for it. Fear was a weakness, and she could not afford it. She hated being weak, she hated the Red Room, and most of all, she hated killing people. She desperately wanted to escape.  
She had no reason to be here. They could train people who wanted this. Natalia did not want this. She wanted her parents (which, by the way, were quite dead now) and a normal life. Of course, she couldn't get that. She could never get that. If she ran away, she could at least try, but it would never be the same.  
Natalia shot her targets, almost flawlessly as she went on with her training. She almost flinched at the sounds of the bullets, but she didn't dare move. After all, she would just get punished for being weak. She knew they wouldn’t kill her—that was too merciful. Natalia was too strong to be killed. They assumed they could take the weakness out of her. That of course, was untrue. You could force her to harm others, but she was only human. She felt too much to be perfect.  
“Your posture is wrong!” One of her instructors yelled, jerking Natalia’s arm into place. Natalia just nodded softly, her expression not changing, even if the sudden force did hurt quite a bit. “Very good, at this rate, you’ll be the next top assassin in no time!” She didn’t want that, but like the rest of her life, it wasn’t up to her.  
“Thank you, Ma’am.” Natalia responded. She did not mean a single word she spoke, but she forced a polite smile out. Her smile was cold and empty, and anyone looking closely could see that. Her mentor just moved on, critiquing the other girls, until they could hit the target.  
The session was slower then normal. All you could hear was Boom, Click and then that same sequence repeating. She desperately wanted it to end, but it’s not like she could just ask. She knew she just had to bear through it. She pulled her trigger once more, a bullet hitting the paper where a man’s skull would technically be.  
The girls around her varied in skills, some hitting almost flawlessly, some hardly figuring out how to pull the trigger. She would have offered to teach the less skilled, but she wasn’t even sure that was allowed. Plus, she did not want to risk offending someone with a gun in their hand. As far as Natalia was concerned, 15 was far too young to die of a gun wound.  
Finally, the sound of clapping was present, indicating that the training was over. Natalia let herself smile in relief, before putting her gun down. She wore no protective gear, because once again, they were unsuccessfully trying to rid her of all fears. She was trying, but there was only so much one person could do to have minimum fears.   
“Now children, time for bed.” Her relieved smile dropped, because this was her least favorite time of the day. She already felt trapped—but being handcuffed to her bed was even worse. She felt nauseated as she slowly followed the others to a room full of beds.  
Yet, Natalia let them trap her. They always made themselves look like what they were doing was right, which confused her. She didn’t have much experience with what’s right and what’s wrong, but shouldn’t they know killing is messed up? It was almost like everyone who set this up felt justified.  
She knew they wanted her to share the same attitude, but she just couldn’t. She wanted to give up, it would be easier. They would stop brainwashing her. They would stop torturing her. That is only if she stopped trying.  
A cold piece of metal was attached to Natalia’s arm quite quickly, she didn’t even have time to protest. It clicked itself into place, before the lights were quickly turned off.  
It wouldn’t have been the first night she thought about escaping. Yet, something about today seemed like she was plotting rather then thinking. If she could get a bobbi pin or any other long and thin object, she could pick the handcuff lock, and run. If she could smuggle a gun, she could escape successfully. It all seemed so easy in her head.  
Why didn’t she think of this before? As she thought about her escape plan, she slowly drifted off to sleep, a world of nightmares awaiting her both in her dreams, and the next day.


	2. Chapter 2- Escape Plan

As soon as Natalia was unhandcuffed, she was thinking of ways to obtain what she needed to escape. Sometimes they could pin up their hair, if it was getting in the way of things, so that was easy. The gun was another story. Under no circumstances they could be allowed to have a weapon with them, unless they were training.  
She would just half to steal it, and then wing it from there. As soon as she was dressed, she went to do her hair, which wasn’t an uncommon thing with the other girls. You could see almost everyone putting their hair up in a ponytail, braiding it, or just pinning their bangs up out of their face. Natalia even noticed a girl named Irina (At least, that’s what she thought her name was. She wasn’t the best with names.) attempting a complex crown braid.  
Focusing on her mission, she stuffed a few pins in her pocket, before making a quick braid. Luckily, no one questioned her. After all, not many people would suspect she was doing something. It was no secret that Natalia was a little possessive over her things, and her stuffing them in her pockets so they wouldn’t get stolen wasn’t a drastic personality jump.  
“You have 2 minutes left to get ready, or no breakfast!” For some reason, Natalia hated that they spoke English. She would much rather speak in her native language, but of course, they wanted to take away another familiar thing from her. So instead, she was stuck speaking this language that sounded everything but pleasant or natural to her.  
Quietly waiting for others to finish, Natalia observed the room. It was much too small to hold as many people as it did, but somehow, they managed to fit quite a bit of beds in it. The walls were a dirty shade of white, with nothing hanging on them. Only a small window stood in the wall, giving a small amount of sunlight. Of course, they also had artificial lighting, but the sunrays were still comforting. In such an ugly place, you were forced to find unconventional beauty.  
As the time ended, the group formed a line at the wooden door frame, waiting for further instructions. Natalia used this time to plot how to get the gun. She could always trick someone into letting her keep it. She could manipulate anyone—but this was no easy request. She needed to find an excuse of sorts, to make it seem like she needed it.  
The girls were marched into a dinning hall of sorts, a few metal tables lining the center. Standing in another line, they were served a small plate of food. Usually, it contained whatever meat was cheapest, a piece of bread, and if they were lucky, something like a fruit or egg. Today was one of the lucky days, a shinny red apple shinned on her plate, as she sat down.  
There was no rule saying they couldn’t talk, but Natalia was honestly scared to form relationships. You never knew when you would need to kill them. It was a lonely life, but it’s better that way. She knew personal attachments only hurt her in the end, so she stayed quiet.   
She ate slowly, as conversation buzzed around her. The others had learned to leave her alone a while ago, and she knew murdering fellow students was not something people looked for in a friend, even if that said killer was forced to.  
Instead of engaging in the social scene, she let herself think of the girl she killed yesterday. She knew virtually nothing about her—yet she still felt guilty. Although, she almost felt like that was a small mercy. The girl didn’t half to endure anymore pain. Of course, killing her was still wrong, and she knew that. Yet, sometimes, death seemed better then living in a place where you didn’t feel free.  
As the meal finally ended, they were led into another big room, this time, it wasn’t plain, nor bullet proof. It had a simple floral wallpaper lining the bottom, and a cream-colored pain at the top. A big mirror sat on one of the ways, a wooden rail on it. It was meant to represent a ballet studio.  
Natalia had a bitter sweet relationship with ballet. It was the only thing that didn’t require violence, yet something still felt off about it. It was almost like reminder that they were just little things the KGB could mold into whatever they want, even if it takes lots of bending. The thing about bending though, is that somethings break, while others are simply to strong to force into the mold. Natalia wasn’t sure what part of the scale she was on—but she wasn’t something that fit into what they wanted her to be.  
After getting changed, they all stood at the bar, with their heels against each, and their arms up as if they were picking up a box. “I see you all have finally learned first position.” One of their male mentors mocked, walking down the line. Natalia tried not to roll her eyes at the comment.  
Everyone else just nodded at his comment, while Natalia just stared him down. It wasn’t aggressive, but it was obvious she wasn’t still here for nothing. The class was simple, and they were just taught second position, but Natalia, was unfocused. At this point, she just wanted to get the gun and run. After that? She had no clue what she was going to do. It didn’t matter though—because to her, anything was better then being here.  
The rest of the day was blur, as Natalia spent most of her time thinking about what she could do after she left. First, she decided that she would check to see if her family was alive. Then, if they were not, she would leave Russian, and never return. If her family was alive, they would hide her, and they could leave together. Easy. At least, in theory.  
At last, her final training session was here. She may have hated guns, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t deny their importance. She couldn’t escape without them. After that? She hopes to never see them again.  
They walk into the soundproof room once again, everyone but Natalia heading to their stations. She stayed back to ask a question.  
“Is it alright if I have the protection on today?” Natalia asked, her thick Russian accent almost making her words sound like gibberish. “It’s hard to focus with all the noise.” This was a lie of course, but it wasn’t like her mentor could tell. After all, she was the best liar of the group.  
“Have you gotten over your fear of gunshots yet?” He asked, not suspecting her lie. Natalia was of course going to tell another, because there’s no way someone could be cured of a fear within a few days.  
“Of course. I see how silly I was being, I apologize.” Natalia replied, her face softening to look more apologetic. Even her facial expressions were a lie. She felt guilty and weak for being afraid, but she was not sorry about it.  
“Aright then, but one more mess up, and you’ll never see these again.” He responded, handing her the bullet proof glasses, and headphones. She nodded, and headed to where her gun rested, putting the gear on. Her fingers grasped the cold metal trigger, pulling back lightly. A loud bang went off, before revealing where the bullet landed. To no one’s surprise, it landed right into the paper heart.  
“Nice work, Romanova!” The mentor said, as he approached her. She just nodded, an indication that she noticed the comment. She reloaded the gun after a few more hits, before repeating the action. This was something she could do mindlessly in her sleep.  
As the class finally wrapped up, Natalia was quick to form her story. Heading back up to her mentor, she put on a confident face, before speaking. “Madam wanted me to bring her one of the firearms.” She told, holding her gun by her side.  
“Make it quick.” He spat, before going off to talk to the other girls in the room. Natalia stuffed the weapon in her pocket, before heading out the door. She lingered in the hallway for a few moments, debating if she should leave now or later.  
She decided to do it at night, because there’s no one watching.  
As soon as she guessed enough time had passed, she headed off to the bedroom. She hid the clothing with the gun under her bed, while she was getting ready for sleep. She managed to do it without anyone noticing there's a big lump in her shirt, which was quite surprising. The bobbi pins were luckily small enough to hide near her, so they sat by her side, waiting to be used.  
Natalia was honestly nervous about the whole idea. If she was caught, there would be punishment. She could endure the physical part of it—she was afraid of what it could mean for her mentally. Still, she needed to at least try to escape. So, with her plan in gear, she waited for the other to fall asleep, before she could finally initiate what she was going to do.


	3. Chapter 3-  Into Action

Natalia waited silently as she waited for everyone to be asleep. She couldn’t see much—but you could usually tell when someone’s breathing pattern changed, or things like snoring would tell you everything you needed to know. Still, she panicked that she might not have checked correctly. One mess up would ruin everything, and then what?  
She could tell it was late, but she didn’t really have a way to tell what time it was. She could see the moon out the window, the small amounts of moonlight illuminating the room with a soft glow. The stars did not twinkle, leaving the night sky to be a blank pit of darkness.  
Natalia figured it was a good time to start picking the lock on the handcuffs, so she went to work. Pulling out the bobbi pin, stuck it in the inside of the lock, before wiggling it slightly. She was quick to find the locking mechanisms, before a click signaled her success.   
She quietly pulled them off, before gently setting them under the firm pillow. She was quick to move, but it was calculated movements, so people couldn’t hear her. Natalia was good at many things and being efficient and silent was some of the things she was exceptionally good at.   
As soon as she was sure everyone was asleep, she climbed out of bed, softly pulling her shirt out. Unwrapping it, she pulled out the gun inside. You could tell she was beyond nervous. Her eyes were darting around the room, looking for movement. Her hands were trembling as if someone stuck an earthquake inside her veins.  
Still, she was going with the plan. So, as soon as she had her weapon in hand, she crept towards the door. As she passed the beds, she couldn’t help but notice all the fear on the other girls faces. For once, she let herself feel sympathy. She wished she could let everyone escape, but sadly, it would never work. The skill ranges varied too widely, and the KGB has even managed to successfully brainwash some of them.  
Now, she debated between crawling out the window, and running for it, or going out the door. IF she went out the door, she knew how to get to civilization. If she took the window, it was probably safer.  
Finally, she decided on the window. Natalia moved swiftly towards the dresser underneath it, before climbing it as quietly as she possibly could. Of course, it wasn’t silent. She just hoped it was enough not to disturb the others.  
Opening the window, she crawled out, scooting up with her arms. As she felt the wet earth under her, she sighed in relief. She closed the window from the outside, before sprinting towards the fence. She was the best at climbing—but she could do it if she needed to.   
The fence was barbed wire, but that didn’t Natalia. She would rather get scratched up, and possibly injured then turn back. Besides, if they found out she left, she would get a lot worse done to her. As she started climb, her hands bleeding as she did so. Her pants were ripped, and all she could feel was the burning sensation as blood trickled down her leg. Still, she kept going.   
The fence was about 6 foot, so, it wasn’t the longest journey. It was only a foot over her height. Finally, she reached the top, her hands were almost completely covered in blood. After reaching the peak, she jumped down to avoid further barbed wire encounters. Somehow, she managed to land on her feet.  
After that, she sprinted into the woods. Natalia didn’t even care at this point—freedom was so close, and all she had to do was run. Her lungs burned, and her legs felt like jelly, but she kept going. For someone who didn’t know where she was heading, she moved with purpose. She ran as if this was the only thing that could keep her alive.   
She kept going, until she finally stumbled and crashed into a tree. Honestly? Everything was in pain, but for the first time in years, she smiled. It was a genuine smile, one of relief. She didn’t even need to use her firearm.   
Suddenly, she heard rustling near her. She dived into a bush quickly, her heart pounding. “She couldn’t have gone far.” She heard someone (who she assumed was a man, but it was entirely possible that she was wrong) say, although she did not know who the voice belongs to. What was quite suspicious was the American accent, that was something rare in the KGB. The footsteps that she heard were more powerful than most of trainers in The Red Room, which caught Natalia off guard. Of course, she could hear the steps of other people as well, as the crunched the leaves that rested at the forest floor.  
A light shinned near the bush she was in, and she was trying not to fidget. Of course, that was no easy task. It was shocking she wasn’t trembling at this point. There was so much to be afraid of, and there wasn’t much you could do to stop physical reactions to fear.  
The man stopped at the foot of her hiding place, standing there for a moment. It didn’t take a genius to know that he was listening for noises. Natalia held her breath, as she attempted to remain as still as she could.   
A soft breeze ran through her hair, luckily, it was mixed in the rustle of the leaves. Still, the man remained. She could hear a soft whisper, but she wasn’t able to make out what was being spoken. All she knew, was it meant bad news.   
Natalia could hear someone unclipping something, which, by deductive reasoning, she guessed it was a gun. It was always a gun. Knowing the KGB, she assumed they were using her fears to check if she was there or not.  
Out of old habit, Natalia tended to either flinch, or cover her ears when someone shot a gun. In the Red Room, it was mostly her getting jumpy, and alert. As much as she tried to hide it, it was obvious how tense she got. You could see her muscles tighten, and her shoulders rise. Her face made it seem like se was ready to bolt at any minute, which, tended to be a correct observation most of the time. Still, she managed to mask what she could. Her face stayed the same neutral expression, but she could never relax.  
“Should we fire the gun?” A clueless employee asked. Despite being in a dire situation, Natalia almost rolled her eyes. Someone must have nodded, or something, because soon after a gunshot was fired. Instincts kicked in, and Natalia jumped slightly. There was no wind to mask her mistake. She had messed up, and there was going to be hell to pay for it.


End file.
